Roma, epilogue

I don't usually hope for anything, much in the same way I avoid promising anything. I'm afraid of disappointment and of disappointing others. So I don't take any chances, and I pretty much avoid anything that might set anyone up for disappointment. However, when I decided to go on my first vacation, I think I harboured a small seed of hope.

My life is devoid of meaning, simply due to how I perceive the Universe. My existence is completely random and will by its finite definition not amount to anything. I'm getting tired of that. When I try to talk to people about it, they think I'm depressed. Maybe I am, but it doesn't feel like it. It doesn't feel like anything at all. In fact, I would like to feel something.

Some of the most memorable moments in my life was when I was in pain. Years ago, I was bitten by a pet rodent and found myself revelling in actually feeling something. I realized in that moment that it had been a long time since I had last experienced pain, and I was glad to feel again, which I suppose also means that I usually don't feel anything in between moments of pain.

Having thought about that for a while, I agreed to go to Rome, in the hopes of feeling something. My secret hope, even half secret to myself, was that it would hold some kind of turning point in my life, that the experience could alter my perspective and force me out of my rut. Even after coming home, I denied to myself that I had had any hopes on the outset, but then I remembered that at every turn during the trip I seemed to be looking for something.

The plane took off, and I hoped that the fear, and my conquering it, would turn me into a stronger person. Maybe even alleviate my fear of death.

I saw the Colloseum, and I hoped that the perspective of history would bring meaning to my own existence.

Marvelling at St Peter's basilica, hearing the angelic choir that just happened to be singing when we entered, I actually hoped that I would find God.

Riding the Metro, I hoped that I would fall in love with a random girl, even if only for a heartbeat.

Nothing at all happened. Everything was very mundane, almost to the point of seeming quite ordinary. Nothing really left a lasting impression. It was my first disappointment in a very long time, and I really don't feel it was for lack of trying or a lack of openmindedness.

The end result is, if anything, that I'm now even more the person I already was. Next time, I simply won't hope for anything. I won't take a chance.

Portable Playstation ID

Just thought I'd post this somewhere. Now I can come back to this post and bask in the glory of my trophies. It has a UK flag because that's the only way I could get it in English.

Roma, pt 3

We were at the Vatican today.

One is called "Crucifixion", the other "Martin Luther King Jr." I saw one first and thought it was cool, then I saw the other and thought it was art.

I found the artefacts more fascinating than the art. Everyone's seen the frescos and paintings etc, but I haven't seen any photos of this stuff. I wasn't even sure what half of it was.

And come on artists, use glass. It's always more impressive.

Roma, intermezzo

A place called Goose, close to our hotel. It has pretty great pizzas. I had a diavolo.

This is the cheap Chinese restaurant next to the Termini. I have no idea what it's called.

McDonald's near Scala di Spagna. The entrance was almost invisible; they probably weren't allowed to use their usual garish yellow and red.

Roma, pt 2

This photo illustrates two things: How happy I am to be in Rome, and how much I can see of it. I can barely keep my eyes open, sometimes I have to sit down and close them for a while just so I won't go blind. The evenings are bearable though, I guess I'll just sleep all day and not go to any tourist attractions.

PS: We saw the pope (kinda, he was really far away). It was bound to happen, since he lives right next door. We walk through there on our way to and from the hotel every day.

Roma, pt 1

Something happened this Monday. It began as a normal day, just lounging about playing inFamous.

Suddenly we were whisked away by an aeroplane. This was my first flight. I was pretty nervous when it was time for take off, but I focused on the engines and chewing my gum, and anxiousness luckily turned into fascination.

Our intrepid adventurers.

Lest I forget, I found a fantastic type of liquorice at the tax free shop in Arlanda: Dark Salmiak. I'm going to have to try to get my hands on a few more bags on my way home, it's delicious, and I've never seen it anywhere else. Airports are apparently magical places.

The landing went well, and then a nice stranger with a mini bus found us and gave us a ride to the doorstep of our hotel, for €10 a piece. Since he also drove other passengers, we ended up getting a tour of all of Rome. We saw pretty much everything we needed to see just minutes after touching down.

This is my room. We have a suite, with a bathroom, kitchenette and a hallway joining our bedrooms. My room has internet and a microwave oven. Win!

The next day (today), we went gallivanting around town on foot. My feet are killing me. I didn't have my camera with me, stupidly enough, so for pictures of that, you'll have to visit my brother's blog.