Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Unnamed Robert Downey Jr project

        BANK TELLER: Sir, there is an awful lot of money in your
                     checking account.

        RDJ:    How much?

        TELLER: Seven figures, sir.

        RDJ:    Oh, well that's probably stupid. I should fix
                that, I'm sorry.

        TELLER: Oh no sir, I must apologize on behalf of the
                bank for failing to notify you, sir.

        RDJ:    That's OK, I should probably hire someone to
                take care of that stuff, but you know.

        TELLER: Would you like me to transfer this into a
                savings account for you?

        RDJ:    Sure, that would probably be good.

        TELLER: Will that be all, sir?

        RDJ:    I don't know, will it?

        TELLER: That's up to you, sir. Everything's all done
                on my end, sir.

        RDJ:    Nice. Oh, do I tip you?

        TELLER: Oh no, sir.

        RDJ:    OK, I don't know how this works. Bye then.

        TELLER: Have a nice day, sir.


        RDJ:    So what do you do at this club?

        BUTLER: Whatever our members enjoy doing, sir.

        RDJ:    Spill it, it's a bunch of old farts sitting
                around sipping brandy and chatting about
                their latest safari.

        BUTLER: Mostly. Although there are other activities
                as well as other drinks, sir.

        RDJ:    Could you get me a Dr Pepper, with a twist
                of lime? And throw some ice in there.

        BUTLER: Certainly, sir.

        RDJ:    Nice. So do you have any game consoles here?

 Butler opens a door.

        BUTLER: The game room, sir.

        RDJ:    Oh. But it looks like it's occupied.

 Robert looks at the butler. He looks back at the couch,
 where two women are sitting, smiling invitingly.

        RDJ:    I thought you said this was a men's club.

        BUTLER: Quite correct, sir.

 A beat.

        RDJ:    Ohhh.


 Robert is playing a split-screen racing game
 against one of the girls while being pampered
 by the other.

       (to his opponent)
        RDJ:     Hah! That was a nasty crash, you're
                 falling behind now, come on!

 Robert and opponent trash talk.

        RDJ:     I'm sorry, what was your name?

        HOSTESS: Melissa.

        RDJ:     Melissa, are you letting me win?

        HOSTESS: Yes, sir.

        RDJ:     Excellent.

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